We spend a lot of time making decisions. Figuring out what’s best for our lives, be it jobs relationships, locations or lifestyles. So what happens when you realize that a decision you’ve made in your past, one of those life altering decisions that you believed would be an increase to your personal happiness and progress, doesn’t live up to the idea? You have that gut feeling that you’ve made a mistake, that maybe you were even happier before this decision?
What is a mistake and does it even exist?
We live in a ‘no regrets’ culture, where it’s frowned upon to actually admit something might’ve not been the best direction for us. And, hey, this is not me saying we should walk around shamed by our choices whispering ‘I should’ve, could’ve done this or that..”
What is a mistake or a regret, if nothing but a learning experience. We can learn how to take the negativity away from these commonly used feelings and learn how to process emotions of dissatisfaction into a more useful future.
How do we move on from a wrong move with clarity, ease and no judgement toward ourselves and that decision?
I have spent so many of my moments in life analysing and reliving the past. I have allowed myself to replay particular memories or life altering moments in my head on repeat, wondering what if I had made a different decision. But the deep truth to these wonderings always comes back to the same awakening.
There are no mistakes. Life runs in a rushing course of lessons, development and growth. Some lessons may feel like setbacks, or fuck ups, but they are always just lessons, albeit maybe destructive, frustratingly and disappointing lessons. But always, this leads to growth within ourselves. A mistake, although we can admit was a wrong move for us, is always this.
There is a certain amount of rebellion when it comes to admitting you’ve made a mistake. I toss and turn inside not wanting to submit to the idea that I did something ‘wrong.’ Because regret is such a negative word in our society. NO REGRETS EVER.
So we hold on to it. We grasp at our decisions with an eagles talons, justifying to ourselves and trying to convince our brains and guts that we didn’t make the ugly “M” word.
But what if, we take a minute to breath.
What if, this is how correct our path.
It’s human. It’s natural. To see different paths of our lives and realize what’s for us and what isn’t. It’s not an offensive feeling to notice this and want to make a change.
There is no judgement in making a mistake, if we never admit the mistake we can’t redirect our paths. Admit that the choice isn’t whats holding us back, is really just ourselves. We can never analyze and re-direct. It’s about self compassion. Understanding that it does no good to blame and degrade, only acceptance and determination to shift the issue will help. That’s where the real healing begins. Loving responsibility toward our actions and lives. I include loving because we have to take it easy on ourselves, guys. Even the most permanent of moves within our physical and emotional state can be gently shifted back to an authentic, loving path.
This is our first human body experience after all. It’s only natural we need a little time off course to figure out what that even means.