Jumangi & Ducking

I’ve always had depression.
It’s a part of myself I have had to deal with on a daily basis for as long as I can remember.
I’m writing this because I’m allowing 2018 to be my year of kind honesty. And I think that might be something we’re all craving these days. To be open minded and honest with each other- to maybe not fully understand each other, but put forth the effort to try.
Knowing that whatever your going through,
You are not alone in those feelings.

And with that, maybe we can even begin to notice how trendy negativity has become in our society. How all these memes, shows and reality shows have warped some parts of our brain to think it’s funnier and better to just grab a bottle and say something sassy than to deal with our lives with vulnerability and empowerment? How maybe we can use our words to inspire and empathize with each other to becoming the best versions of ourselves.

All I know is from my own experiences. My depression is thick, sticky, heavy vines in my mind. If I don’t keep them at bay when there are just a few sprouts, it grows out of control like fucking Jumanji and crushes my whole damn sparkly self down, pulling it into that shitty nothing-is-ever-going-to-be-good-again- forest like that damn police offers car in the film.
You can’t just duck and avoid yourself with a Margarita and a back talk sass attack into being a happier human, I should know. I have looooved me some Margs. Plus I duck from people I don’t want to deal with all the time.
Avid duck-er here.
🙋🏻‍♀️
It’s not trendy, but in order to not be Jumanjied I need physical, mental and emotional release. I need to give those vines somewhere to grow.

We’re on this earth together, dealing with the human experience. It’s a roller coaster of a shit storm and, thankfully, endless joy. Maybe if we can talk about the storm and how to handle the massive amounts of nasty shit blowing into our eyes more effectively, we can learn how to adjust our eyes to see the joyous parts more often and together.
💛

Also, all metaphors aside, you should all really go watch the original Jumanji again…just because, well, Mr. Williams will always be number one.

Minty Fresh 2018

Fresh year, Fresh start.

Honestly, I believe any day of any month can be the start of something new, but we like those nice round numbers and starting points, so let go along with it for the sake of january’ s ego, it likes to be number one and resolution central.  

So I meditate with this app called Headspace. It’s a lovely app with adorable illustrations and a relaxing voice to guide you. I highly recommend to anyone, whether seasoned meditator or newbie.

I meditated this morning. As I always have the intent to do because it makes me feel fresh, relaxed, ready for my day. But life tends to derail intentions, doesn’t it? So I hadn’t done it in a while. So, thinking it’s January and it’s time to get back on track, this morning I woke up, poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down with myself.

And my, my, my.

My monkey brain was wrapped so tightly, I couldn’t even focus on focusing on being focused. And then I started thinking about that phrase and how it wasn’t quite right make and maybe I was just not being focused on focusing..or maybe just trying to focus on the focal point.

And then, because I had sillily poured my coffee pre-meditation, I started to hope it would still be hot in ten minutes, and I shouldn’t have poured it til after I did my super awesome great meditation that I will totally do every morning until I die, cause, ya know resolutions work like that. Ya know what, I should stretch too! THAT would make my day extra super yogi special. Like a kale shot directly into my arm, kinda like Popeye but without the gross pipe. Why did he have a pipe anyway? Why not just a cigarette, was he smoking weed in that thing? Maybe he was more chill than I thought. Especially since he only ate spinach and was just smoking pot all day long. Woah. Popeye was actually a chill, fairly healthy dude.

SHIT.

FOCUS ON THE FOCUSING.

This continued for a lovely ten minutes.

I write this because I’ve noticed that when I’ve told people I meditate they tend to think that I’m somehow glowingly, yogi perfect at it and I can shut my brain off like a light switch and only think about unseasoned kale and world peace or something…and erm, i don’t even like kale, guys. And this is certainly not how I’ve found it to go.

I realize that meditation is like brushing your teeth. Just once isn’t really going to help you with overall health. Although it still freshens you up a bit. And doing it all the time will make a huge difference, but you might not even notice until you stop and realize how crusty it gets in there…

So I try to Colgate my sparkly minty fresh mind, every now and then, even if I think about Popeye for a majority of it.

Here’s again to 2018. A nice round number that, if we allow it, will be minty fresh with experience.